Monday, September 10, 2012

A special time.

Sometimes things happen in life which cause us to pause from the normal routine of things and reflect on the "bigger issues". My dear ole Dad died just over a week ago - yes he was a great age - but it still came as a shock. Although his mind was dimming, he was still physically pretty active for a nono-genarian and he still delighted in his greenhouse and garden.

When most of us fast forward to those last years of life we like to think that we'll "slip off the twig" in our sleep after the golden glow of a long and happy life, but for more and more people Dementia and strokes seem to blight those final years of life. So I thought I'd write down a few suggestions for how I like to be treated should I start to go Bonkers or, even worse, have a debilitating stroke or disease.

PLEASE DO NOT sit me in front of a TV from early morning! Over the years I have visited many nursing home and seen so many frail people planted in from of early morning TV with inane programs or cartoons! I would hate that even if I was mad! Find a window where I can see the world, or even better sit me in a garden where I can feel the breeze and let the flies tickle my face. If it rains, even better to feel the drops of water on my body: and does it really matter if I get a cold or pneumonia afterwards?

I've always loved trying different things so take me out to the beach, or lower me into a swimming pool: push my wheelchair to the edge of a cliff so that I can experience danger - even if it kills me! And don't worry about me being comfortable in a car - when you were kids we strapped you into seats and I'm sure you filled your nappy too on many a long trip.

Stick some ear phones on my head with music that you think I might like, pod-casts that may interest me, or just the sounds of nature on a cold and wet day. I may appear distant and dribble, but it's what happens deep inside that really counts now - and everything you do with love will be heard in the depths of my soul.

Let the little people near me - they have enormous, yet beautiful energy - and their vision often extends far beyond that of we myopic parents. If they tip me out of a chair or spill something on me - who cares - every blot will be a badge that I can marvel at, every bruise a vivid memory

Dare to believe that you can still connect with me because when I'm no longer here, I still want you to be able to maintain that connection - not for me, but for you because you will miss me just as I will be missing you.
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Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Beautifully said. Today, because of life extending measures, we may exist beyond when our real life ends.

My condolence on you loss.

G.W. Bauer said...

Well said.